Hi there everyone! Life has been absolutely insane lately. I don’t even know where to begin on updating you guys. Scott and I have been going through a bunch of stuff for the divorce and, honestly, it’s a lot more stressful than I ever expected it to be. Well, I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything easy from a divorce, but then again a girl can dream. When you think about the possibility of getting divorced you always believe yours is gonna be different. Like somehow you two are gonna be the couple that actually has an easy divorce. Except that hardly ever happens. At least not in the small scope of life that I’ve witnessed.
Anyway, suffice it to say that we have not had an amiable time with the divorce. I’m not really even sure why, it’s not like we had a huge blowout or anything. It wasn’t one of those situations where someone cheated on anything like that. There wasn’t any huge betrayal or any of that kind of stuff you see in the movies. Truth be told, Scott and I just sort of…fell out of love. Somewhere along the way, we just stopped being each other’s best friend. He stopped surprising me with flowers, and I stopped making him his favorite dinners just because I wanted to make him happy. After awhile, it just got to the point that the only contact we really had was when we were avoiding each other in the house. I knew things were headed towards a divorce, but I just couldn’t find it in myself to try and stop it from happening. It felt inevitable, like trying to avoid a train when you’re tied to the tracks. Unsurprisingly, I came home one day to find the papers on the kitchen counter, and I knew that the train had finally come.
It’s been a few months since that happened, though. Somehow, things have gotten worse between him and I since we separated. Now it’s all fighting about money and possessions, and I am about ready to tear my hair out. Scott is just being such a child about all this. He’s decided that he’s gonna run off back to the city, and leave me to take care of our daughter.
I don’t think I’ve really talked about her a lot have I? She’s young, only just turned seven, and she’s the light of my life. She’s a sweetheart in every way, and I can’t wait to watch her grow up into a strong, independent woman.
Since Scott has decided that he’s moving away, that leaves me to take care of Ruby. The worst part is, I have to figure out how to pay all the bills now that I’m single. I still write freelance, but I haven’t worked a full-time job since before Ruby was born. I suppose I’ll get child support, but I’m not even sure how much that’ll be a month. A friend sent me the links to a couple of helpful websites, though, that are supposed to calculate how much you are entitled to per month. I’ll go ahead and include the links to those in case any of you guys are going through a similar situation. One is to a child support calculator, and the other is for a spousal support calculator.
Overall, the whole situation is just taking a huge toll on me. I don’t really have anyone in the way of support, since both of my parents have passed and none of my friends have ever been divorced. I’ve really been turning to Molly and Maggie for comfort, but there’s only so much they can do to make me feel better. I’ve been trying to ride a lot. It really clears my mind and helps me get back to things with a fresh head. It’s been helping some, but I still wish that I had someone to talk to about all of this.
I guess that’s sort of why I’m here at the end of the day. I guess a part of me hoped that I could share my story online and find some people who really understood my situation. I also wanted to put my story out there for other people who we’re going through a similar situation. It’s so hard to go through something like this alone, so I want to be a source of comfort for anyone out there who can relate to my story.
I think that’s all I have for right now guys. I will be sure to update if anything comes up regarding my divorce. If you are going through a tough divorce, or even just a hard time in general, feel free to chat with me! I’d love to hear from anyone who has any words of wisdom to offer for my current situation!